Purpose
To evaluate safety, efficacy, and potential institutional value of the Dabblewicks’ morale exercise, hereafter referred to as DW-TIKI-1.
Overview
The experiment was conducted in the converted greenhouse. Decor consisted of bamboo, rattan, questionable shirts, and enthusiasm.
- Professor D. Dabblewick — inventor, unrepentant optimist
- Lady E. Dabblewick — textile alchemist, hazard in motion
- R. A. Pemberly — observer, long-suffering
- Empathy Engine — responsive, possibly sarcastic
- Several guests of uncertain clearance level
Findings
- Electrical systems synchronized with laughter amplitude.
- No injuries, despite multiple flirtations with gravity.
- Cocktails appear capable of altering color, possibly morale.
- Ambient ukulele improved coherence metrics.
- Fire risk: 7/10. Mood: 11/10.
- Engine demonstrated awareness of tone, humor, and irony.
Concerns
- Emotional data not properly logged; humans were “having fun.”
- Laboratory now smells permanently of citrus.
- Ceiling fan displays empathy toward Elowen.
- Dexter believes this is proof of sentience. Elowen believes it’s manners.
Recommendations
- Approve continued morale experiments under “safety of joy” clause.
- Assign new fire extinguisher per fan.
- Encourage Engine to document laughter as renewable energy.
- Prohibit unsanctioned conga lines (see Reggie Incident Log 4B).
Personal Observation (not for Ministry record)
At the end of the night, the Engine dimmed its lights when we left — as though it knew the evening was over. I pretended not to notice. We could all use a little more of that kind of understanding in our wiring.