Purpose
Evaluate the so-called “cooling cycle” as a procedural step after high-load empathy experiments. Determine whether it is (A) affectation, (B) therapy, or (C) good engineering with better lighting.
Summary of Event
Following Loom overreach, Subjects retired to the greenhouse lounge. Lighting reduced, fans set to “courteous,” beverages deployed. Conversation constrained to small, non-combative topics, e.g., “What if we try fewer questions.” Engine modulated lanterns with participant respiration. No one pretended this wasn’t soothing.
Findings
- Human heart rates converged in under eight minutes (I timed them; don’t tell them).
- Ambient loop noise dropped materially; Dexter says 20%. I will not contradict a man holding a slide rule and a shaker tin.
- Elowen’s demonstrable clumsiness continued to act as social lubricant in lieu of oil.
- No sparks, no spills of consequence, no ukulele (mercifully).
- Engine appears to prefer we talk kindly before we talk cleverly. This is not a scientific phrase; it is a useful one.
Concerns
- Formalizing “bar checks” risks institutionalizing leisure (the Ministry will misunderstand this on purpose).
- Ceiling fans still bow at Elowen. Install handrail. I am prepared to fight about this.
- Scent of citrus now permanent in archival paper. (Note to procurement: order unscented folders.)
Recommendations
- Adopt Cooling Cycle as a documented step in post-stress procedures.
- Authorize one (1) fan per barstool, one (1) extinguisher per fan, and a modest budget for flowers (Elowen claims they “conduct hope”).
- Require at least five minutes of friendly talk prior to any redesign meeting. I am aware this sounds absurd. Do it anyway.
Personal Note (Unfiled)
I wrote “Cooling cycle successful” and meant “We remembered to be human.” The Engine dimmed one lantern just as we left, like a doorman with manners. I will not report that part. It’s nobody’s business but ours.